How time can move both fast & slow amazes me.

22: Graduated college & began career in Philly

23: Moved to Milwaukee

24: Moved to NYC

25: Moved to Providence & met my future husband

26: Moved in with my future husband

27: Became a Dog Mom

28: Became a Homeowner & Fiancée

29: Became a Wife

30: Became a Mom

31: Became a CEO & Author

Today I turn 32. The last ten years for me have been full of firsts. So many major milestones in a decade that flew by so quickly. When living life at this pace, it’s easy to get swept up in excitement and novelty of the continuous stream of big events. Everything feels significant and momentous because... everything is.

I strive to live my life in such a way that I never stop “becoming.” But the thing about becoming something new is exactly that: you are a rookie. You need to learn it, live it, truly invest yourself and “become” it over time.

I am always in pursuit of the best version of myself: learning, discovering, reflecting, growing, improving. My goal for this year specifically is to lean into all of these important roles in my life and just get better at them. This year is not about becoming something new or different, it is about giving more of myself to these vocations that have called me. I commit myself to the betterment of my ability to serve the world in these capacities; the various facets of my life that I have chosen, and those that have chosen me.

This year I want my confidence to strengthen to support my contribution. It’s honestly a relief to not have some big milestone on the horizon, and instead to have the opportunity to breathe and appreciate the life I have created over the last decade.

Yesterday, outside blowing bubbles with my daughter, a random memory crept into my mind. I thought back to my sixteenth birthday. For any of you who know my mom, her superpower is making other people feel seen and feel special. As her child, I benefited from this greatly throughout my life. This birthday was no exception. She surprised me with a spa day with three of my closest girlfriends and made me feel like the most beautiful, most “adult” version of myself, which is all I wanted and needed at that point in my life. That day solidified the importance of strong friendships, as well as the importance of demonstrating to the important people in your life that you truly know them. I am convinced that this is all any of us really want in life: for someone to truly know us, and to love us because of it.

Thanks, Mom.

After reminiscing on that day, I also found myself thinking some version of: “I can’t believe I’ve lived double-life since then. I was only halfway to where I am now.”

But I didn’t even really know what I meant. I couldn’t believe that so much has happened since that day? I can’t believe the way my life has turned out so far? I can’t believe how long ago that was, or how recent? I can’t believe how much I’ve changed since then, or how much of that 16-year old girl still lives within me? These all feel true. 

Another random synapse fired in my brain. A lyric to a song that was particularly meaningful to me around the same time as that Sweet Sixteen spa day: “how time can move both fast and slow amazes me.” Bright Eyes, “I Believe in Symmetry.”

The duplicity of time, as timeless as ever.

I have so much more to discover, but I carry a lot of learnings with me to help me navigate more effectively. These things I know, going into my 33rd year (as my husband always corrects me): 

• Your people are everything. Find them. Prioritize them. Celebrate them.

• Everyone messes up. Forgive those that hurt you in big and small ways, and most importantly, forgive yourself.

• Figure out what is non-negotiable for you, and... DO NOT COMPROMISE on those things.

• Read. Play and listen to music. Spend time outside. Find out what “art” means to you and make it or appreciate it every chance you get.

• Family first. Family forever. Whatever your family looks like - cherish those relationships and invest in them. If you do, they get sweeter over time. 

• Take the time to go inward and learn about yourself. Do this often, and even when it’s uncomfortable (especially then). Question your stances, examine your beliefs, take inventory of your priorities. Have the courage to examine your life and do the hard work of making changes to align your inner world with your outer world. 

This is life. This is living. (For me, anyway.)

I think about those that reached out to me to wish me a happy birthday today, and I feel the same way I do on most birthdays: totally overwhelmed in the richness of life. The adventures and experiences I have had thus far have been so unbelievable that my heart can’t hold enough gratitude. But it doesn’t take much digging for me to realize that the meaningfulness of these experiences is magnified exponentially because of every person that has taught me a lesson or cheered me on along the way. 

I am “stuck at home” today, but I have friends who sent me wishes from six continents, and in several different languages. I heard from friends I first met in preschool and elementary school. Men I used to date. Old bosses and clients. Neighbors from my time in Philly, Milwaukee, Manhattan. Neighbors from Providence that I used to stay up all night with watching scary movies and drinking wine in our garden. Flat mates from my time in London. Group chats lit up with well wishes from Cheverus “Lady Stags 4Eva”, BC “Boston Ladies & Thomas,” GE CLP 10-2, and Guida’s FIJI brotherhood (& their awesome wives). I heard from an eco-biologist who we met on our honeymoon in Sri Lanka who has become a lifelong friend. Members of my husband’s extended family in Sicily sent their best. Dozens (literally) of my own cousins, aunts, and uncles wished me well. My husband learned “happy birthday” on the piano for me and played it when I woke up this morning. My daughter gave me a big sloppy smooch when she handed me my card. A voicemail saved from my Grammie playing her classic music box “happy birthday” to me from last year. If this is not real wealth, I don't know what is.

Days like this help me remember: there is so much goodness in the world,

and so much work left to do.

So when I blow out my candle tonight, I’ll be thinking this: Make me a big voice. A voice for compassion, connection, empathy, imagination, courage, change, and joy. Help me to be present for my family and my community. Make this year my biggest yet, in ways I can’t even dream up or comprehend. 

This year, I think that by sharing my wish, I’m already helping it come true.